Birthday Gift Dilemma

My husband's birthday is next week. I have been thinking what I could get him. It's just that he doesn't seem to want anything. Asking him what he wants, doesn't work. He doesn't even know what he wants.

And I don't think I can beat last year's present. I got him tickets to the New Orleans Saints game vs Green Bay, which Saints kicked butt and broke the record for the most points scored in the Superdome by the Saints.

Amazing game, glad we were there.

I thought about getting him football tickets again, but this year is a little harder. Most games are already sold out. And he's been working longer hours than before. So I don't know if he can make it to any of the game dates.

What should I do?

Family Issues

A friend said, "The older the parent gets, the CRAZIER, they get." I certainly feel that way. My mom has crazy, restrictive norms. Her way of thinking is very outdated and to the point of being strange.

1. No single friend may spend the night in your house.
2. Any female friend, whether single or married, will have sexual urges around your husband.
3. The business is your family. If you want control of your life, take care of the business.

More or less, I understand, men will cheat. So will women. But trust is very important to me. If I don't trust my husband, I wouldn't have married him.

In Need of Therapy

I want to go to a shrink. I feel like I need an hour or so to vent my frustrations. Because my husband is not a very good "therapist" (listener).

I thought a husband will listen and help solve my issues. But no, my husband does not have the knack for that. He just lets shit pile on and on until I am way too stressed.

I need to refocus and gain my balance back. I cannot plan my business actions like I used to. It has taken me so long to do just one single task on my To Do List that it's starting to scare me. I'm not in a rut. Alright, alright. I'm in a rut.

Managing business rut.

But I know the root of all my problems. My crazy mother.

Treadmill Determination

I was planning to name this entry "Treadmill ACTION" but I thought Determination was a better word. Determination all in all motivates me to ACT. I hate exercising... well who doesn't but, it is sooo good for me. It's hard to make excuses.

It has been 4-5 months since I stepped on a treadmill. That last time was a week before a wedding in January. I had to fit my dress. Unfortunately, by the time the wedding rolled by, I could barely fit. So after a 20 minute treadmill workout, I was exhausted. My body was achy, sweaty, and I felt like crap.

My sides hurt, my back and shoulders felt like it was in tatters... like someone shredded my tendons and ligaments and pulled my limbs from its sockets. 20 minutes and yet my entire being was about to shut down.

I drowned myself in waterto hydrate myself. The aches subsided and by the end of the day I was myself again. I feel better after the workout. I think I'm at a stage in my life where I can make free time for myself.

The baby is getting older. She's more independent. Later she'll be in pre school most of the day. I need to start a tight schedule. I really awful with schedules. I want to fit in a couple of different classes, such as Spanish classes, maybe MBA classes, and even hiphop dance classes. Maybe I'll pick up Violin lessons again.

Free Books - Sponsership by Sony

Wow, I found this out through Dear Author and it was awesome!

Sony is teaming up with Google Books to bring you 500,000 ebooks for free! You can download to your computer or to your Sony Reader.

All you have to do is download the software, register, and find what you what to READ!

Let me see what I can find that I like:

Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen

Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen

I also found Kiplinger's Personal Finance magazine archives and The New Yorker on there.

Interesting. I already downloaded Pride and Prejudice - a classic that I can't wait to reread.

Strengthening My Buying Power

Diane Von Furstenburg Dress

In business school, I was told that by stengthening a company's buying power, you should be able to reap in better returns. In a way, that's what I want to do. But in a totally different market.

SHOPPING.

I have an urge to shop. And by strengthening my guts to just buy the stuff I want, I'll be able to reap in the valuable items I want. On the other hand, that means I have to work my butt off to pay off the credit card. I'm not looking forward to that though.

Shopping Junkie

I feel like I'm going through withdrawal of a drug. I'm frenetic, snappy, cranking, and jittery. All the makings of a junkie. But it's not for drugs. It's for shopping.

It's been a while since I shopped. For clothes, jewelry, shoes, or purses. I have been just working, taking care of Megan, and working!

All of a sudden, it hit me - this shopping frenzy - this urge to do some damage to my credit card. And the idea that I might be sinking a whole in my credit card isn't even phasing me. Something is really wrong with me!

Parenting Cartoons

I have been receiving emails from babycenter.com since I became pregnant. I love the info they send to me week by week through my pregnancy. And I especially love it when they didn't abandon me when I gave birth. Babycenter.com kept me informed as a new parent week by week of my child's growth. It helped me keep track of Megan's development and even sometimes helped me resolve issues and even reasserted my parenting skills.

Like any new parent, I do not know half the time what the hell I'm doing.

But the thing I love about babycenter.com is their cartoons. I always am on the lookout for their funny as heck cartoon which is at the bottom of the emails every other week. I found out that the artist is Cathy Thorne of http://everydaypeoplecartoons.com/

One of my favorites. I totally remember how I felt around that time. It was exhausting. I was sleep deprived because I was so big. Walking hurt, actually everything hurt. The aches and pains... don't get me talking about the labor pains...

And now I have been asking this question a lot lately. She's been a bad bad little girl and she can't even talk yet!

We are not as young as we used to be

I'm only 27, but on days like this, I feel like I'm 75 or older. My back was achy when I woke up this morning. It wasn't painful just achy and sore even though I haven't exercised or lifted anything. Well except my baby but she shouldn't make me sore. Maybe I slept too much. But then why was I still tired this morning.

Lately, my feet is tingly when I first get up. It's like my feet fell asleep while I was sleeping, but shouldn't that make my feet numb immediately? What is going on with my body?

I should probably exercise more. But there is not enough time in the day for me to fit in a workout much less drive to the gym. Yes, the gym is about 10 minutes away but it's still not close enough for me. I have the treadmill at home but not the weights or the resistance equipment.

I need to cut work short and go exercise more often. I'm starting to feel really stressed. My neck is constantly tense. The muscle there in my neck is sooo knotty.

Yup 75 year old.

Vision in White by Nora Roberts

I can't wait for this book to be out. It's expected to be released on April 28 and will be the first book in the Bride Quartet series.

Excerpt at mylifetime.com
http://www.mylifetime.com/on-tv/movies/nora-roberts/vision-in-white-excerpt

On The Cheap Side

I am not a frugal person. I love to shop and find something I would like. But sometimes, I find something I like but I wouldn't even wear it. Don't know why. I have tons of clothes with tags.

At least, it hasn't gotten so bad lately. But I've been feeling the itch to shop.

Yesterday I bought a purse. I regretted now, because I don't think I need a new purse. I still like my old one.

Why did I buy the new one? It was leather and free Express NEXT DAY shipping.

yeah, really good deal. Should I mention the purse's name is "Pay My Tab." I thought it was funny. fitting really.

So I'm online again. Window shopping through the pages of the internet. Wondering should I buy this pretty ballerina looking dress when I don't have any where to go. No wedding, no party, no business gala...

Diving for Business

Yesterday at work, there was a commotion that I should have been able to take care. It was my day off so no one bothered to call me. Today when I came in, was blown away by how mere hours could change my life and everyone's life around.

I guess in today's economy,people think you have to be cutthroat and malicious to survive. But I beg to differ. I think by keeping promises and building clientelle is the key to everything. Service matters especially in technology based companies.

One of our suppliers handed us the pink slip. They still want us to buy from them but they will be taking over our clients directly. We have been servicing these clients for over 20 years and now boom, no more.

Hopefully, we can make some changes that will indeed get our customers back.

Stupid Embarrassing Moment

I went to a playdate at a restaurant. This mexican restaurant is cozy with a sand area for kids to play. I wanted Megan to just have fun, but she ended up HATING sand. She squealed, eeked, and was about to throw a tantrum until I removed her from the sand.

I just ordered her some food, chit chatting with other moms, when Megan began to wail. She was sleepy and tired, and probably bored. All the other kids were playing in the sand. She was stuck in a chair. She was torn between sand or play. She chosed the former - less dirty.

I said my goodbyes and hauled Megan in the car. Strapped her in her car seat and jetted home. As soon as I got home, my head of pounding. I was exhausted too.

Then I remembered, I LEFT WITHOUT PAYING!

The mortification that the other moms and dads had to pay for me, was really overwhelming. I wanted to hide forever and never show my face again.

I was like what am I going to do!?

So I went to the meetup site and posted a message on the forum saying how sorry i was and I was going to pay whoever paid back. Thankfully, they were okay with that. 1 really nice mom paid and I sent her the payment!

I guess I need to instill some confidence at the next outting. Or pay first.

Confessions of a Working Mom

I love these playgroups that I go to. Megan loves 'em. It seems like the kid interactions that she gets, makes her learn new things, fast. I feel like by letting her play with other kids, she's opening up doors and she's growing right before my eyes.

The only thing is most of these playgroups are for Stay At Home Moms (SAHM). And I got burned a few times when these SAHM want to keep to their SAHM groups. What difference does it make if I go to work? I still want my baby to have all the best things she can get, just like any SAHM.

I had met a really nice mom "Michelle" with her baby "Gabby". Megan and Gabby are the same age and were already hugging and holding hands. Michelle and I were chatting and just hanging out. About an 1 later, both babies were tired. I don't blame them. I was tired just chaperoning them. I'm leaving with Megan, and I handed Michelle my business card with email and phone. I told her, "Call me or email me. Let's meet some time and get our kids together." She looked at the card, and I saw the look in her eyes change like "Humm, you work?"

Wow, big difference. It's been 2 months, and I haven't heard from Michelle. So sad. I know it's my business card. Should I make Mommy cards? LOL... I heard of these cards that mom's hand out with their info, just in case people need to contact them.

Katie Holmes - Glamour Shoot

Isn't this a beautiful picture of her? I love her tossled hair and her makeup is perfect.

This picture will be Glamour's 70th Anniversary issue.

In this issue, she talks candidly about her relationship with Tom, her career, and being a famous mother.

I looked at the other pictures from the photo shoot and most showed a very slim Katie Holmes. She looks worn out, unlike this picture to the left.

I remember her as Joey from Dawson's Creek. Don't we all wish we can back to the old days?

Playing Hookie

I am supposed to be at work today, but decided to stay at home. To do what? NOTHING.

yup, nada, zilch, not a thing.

Actually I have a newsletter, catalog, and a brochure to be working on but I'm blogging. I can't make myself work or go to work for that matter. Don't know what came over me. I didn't even nap and I haven't eaten a thing today. I feel like I'm back in college.

Skulls and Tattos for a Baby

At first look, this Mei Tai Baby Carrier is SOOOO CUTE!!! I immediately wanted one and loved the idea that it would be able to handle my already 24 lbs baby.

But at closer look, the carrier had SKULLS on it. While some might think it's alright, I'd rather purchase something for my baby that's less frightening. At oompa.com they also had a Tattoo one where there's a sword piercing through a skull.

I don't like it. I might buy the more traditional Floral and Peacock designs (though I don't like the colors on those).

Are you moms okay with Skulls and Tats on designer wear for your baby?

Too Much On My Mind

It is bedtime and I'm still awake. This has been happening more and more lately. I am so tired, my eyes are drooping. But my brain is still active. It's churning and things keep popping up that I have to do.

1. Find stupid font that can be embedded into Adobe Indesign and exported to a PDF.
Sounds harder than it actually is. I have been searching for so called font for the past 24 hours.

2. Sippy Cup mess continues. Baby refuses any sight of a sippy cup with milk. Will take sippy ONLY for juice and water.

3. Get MBA? Where the hell did that come from? Should I be going to school at all?

4. Work on baby#2.
Yeah right, when baby#1 is a handful already. I must be insane. But maybe I am insane, cuz I do want a baby #2.

5. Need to finish catalog drafts for print production. Way behind.

6. Need to submit data for April's Newsletter.

7. Taxes

8. Schedule flight and hotel for Los Angeles product meeting.

9. Design a blog layout. I feel creative lately.

10. Stories. Mad mad stories of Gracie and Nick. They want their romance story told.

My Dream Home

I have a lovely house. It's a two story with my very own library. My husband has his flat screened TV living room, that is easily accessible to a nice sized kitchen. 2 bedrooms and a study finalizes the rest of the house.

But strangely, it's not my dream home. I think my dream home got inspired by a Premier Homes magazine, and now that house is stuck in my mind. I don't think I'll ever own a house like that. It's just too oppulent and showy. I'm just a suburban working mom.

Here are the pictures from my dream home from Premier Homes magazine:

Guilt Trips = Road of Pain

I was raised in a loving family. I just didn't get the kind of love I wanted. The more I pleased my parents the harder they were on me. If I gotten an A in school, it was not "Good Job!" But it was "Why didn't you get an A+?" I had once gotten a B in English in 10th grade. My father enrolled me in Sylvan Learning Center.

I always wanted a praise from them, but I never really gotten that. When I had gotten into New York University, they had bribed me to stay at home. When I had gotten a job, they bribed me into working at their business.

It wasn't bribing. It was more like guilt trips.

Somehow, I am still falling for those guilt trips. The things I wanted to do, I couldn't do without a guilt trip. When can I ever move on?

Tonight wasn't an example of a guilt trip. But it hurt me nonetheless. Parenting is not easy. But they shower a love for my baby, than I had ever seen. I never gotten that attention.

I want reassurance that I'm raising my baby the right way. When my mom starts to say, Megan didn't drink enough, I responded "The pediatrician said only 12oz to 15oz a day." My parents would constantly respond that I was raised differently and grew up fine.

I really didn't like how I was raised in the first place. I was on formula until I was 3. I had cavities with 6 silver teeth at the age of 4. I didn't have a drop of water as a child. I drank Seven Up since I was a baby. All because my parents "raised" me that way.

My beliefs are clashing with their methods. My mom got fed up at my "wishes" and said that I should handle it fine, that she will no longer interfere.

Why does it always seem to be a threat that comes out of my mom's mouth?