Thursday, February 19, 2009

Guilt Trips = Road of Pain

I was raised in a loving family. I just didn't get the kind of love I wanted. The more I pleased my parents the harder they were on me. If I gotten an A in school, it was not "Good Job!" But it was "Why didn't you get an A+?" I had once gotten a B in English in 10th grade. My father enrolled me in Sylvan Learning Center.

I always wanted a praise from them, but I never really gotten that. When I had gotten into New York University, they had bribed me to stay at home. When I had gotten a job, they bribed me into working at their business.

It wasn't bribing. It was more like guilt trips.

Somehow, I am still falling for those guilt trips. The things I wanted to do, I couldn't do without a guilt trip. When can I ever move on?

Tonight wasn't an example of a guilt trip. But it hurt me nonetheless. Parenting is not easy. But they shower a love for my baby, than I had ever seen. I never gotten that attention.

I want reassurance that I'm raising my baby the right way. When my mom starts to say, Megan didn't drink enough, I responded "The pediatrician said only 12oz to 15oz a day." My parents would constantly respond that I was raised differently and grew up fine.

I really didn't like how I was raised in the first place. I was on formula until I was 3. I had cavities with 6 silver teeth at the age of 4. I didn't have a drop of water as a child. I drank Seven Up since I was a baby. All because my parents "raised" me that way.

My beliefs are clashing with their methods. My mom got fed up at my "wishes" and said that I should handle it fine, that she will no longer interfere.

Why does it always seem to be a threat that comes out of my mom's mouth?

0 comments:

 
Blog Design by Delicious Design Studio